bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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