My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
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