I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
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