do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize