Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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