It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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