you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
