ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
