i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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