Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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