It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Me too!
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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