worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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