I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
How's work?
Spinning.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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