My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Mom said you looked used
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Randomize
