i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize