she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Don't tell me you're on acid again
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
