I need help removing her.
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
