She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
i think we sleep fucked last night...
Randomize
