Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Sorry about my life...
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize