me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
