if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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