Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Randomize
