My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
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