I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
