I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg đđ
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I havenât trained for this.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Iâd say they were worth it. He screamed âyour tits are fanfuckingtastic!âwhile he was cumming
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