The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Blow job season was short but glorious.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
