It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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