I wannas sexs uuuuu
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
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