; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
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