i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
