Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
