Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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