just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
