I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
COCAINE IS GR8
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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