i already hear my dad disowning me
i love accidental penises.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
