jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
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