I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize