somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
