About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
