To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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