Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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