He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
We got so high we made milksteak
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
