just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
