My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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