Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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