Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I still have a little drunk in my system
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
