I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Randomize
