dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Randomize
