Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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