I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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