my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
