That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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