Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
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She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
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You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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