I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
