I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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