I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Randomize
