Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Randomize
