If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
