This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
