I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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