So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize