hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
It's just like the Real World with babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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